Meet the Bucaninjscrewheliblanket, the all-in-one solution to all of your buckling, can-opening, ninja star throwing, screw-driving, helicoptering, and blanketing needs. There’s even a little handle for you to hold onto as the Bucaninjscrewheliblanket carries you off into the sunset. Now I know what you’re all thinking: “Wow! This is tacticoolest product I’ve ever seen… but how does it work (and where’s the bottle opener)?” To both of those questions, we can honestly say: we have absolutely no idea. One of our engineers mocked up this design after (presumably) accidentally ingesting some cleaning chemicals but we’ve decided to take the ball and roll with it. This product is scheduled for release on Febuary 31st 2018.
Is this concept too tacticool for you? Can't wait for February 2018? Check out our boring old minimalist web belt, the Trayvax Cinch.